The Truth About the First Year

Reaghan had so much fun at her birthday party! We're so thankful for those who were able to help us celebrate her little life. 

If you're looking for a healthy, grain free, nut free, dairy free, refined sugar and honey free cake, I used this one. Topped with my coconut whipped cream (sweetened with pure maple syrup instead of powdered sugar) and cooked mashed peaches. 

I can't believe my baby girl is one. It seems like yesterday that we were settling into a new house and welcoming Reaghan into our family. I want to share just a glimpse into this past year for me, as I have been reflecting on it quite a bit lately. 

Nursing. Did I mention nursing was a major struggle for me? I kind of cringe when I say that too because I have heard many more horrific stories than mine in this department. But it's not about comparing, amen? What was hard for me still was hard. You can read more about that here. 

She was super sleepy. Well dang, don't I sound like a big complainer?! But guys, this was hard for me because I really wanted that interaction, and it's just not there during the newborn stage. Not only this, but it was near impossible to feed her because she was too ASLEEP! Even rubbing ice all over her naked body wouldn't wake the kid up to eat. This put a pile of stress on my shoulders as a brand new mom, not knowing if she was getting enough milk. It also made 10 minute nursing sessions last an hour or more. 

I was lonely. I went from a busy life filled with lots of meaningful conversations to alone in a house with a screaming infant. In one day flat. Literally, I went to a Thanksgiving potluck with a bunch of international students the night I went into labor (no clue I was about to go into labor, by the way) then BAM, the next morning she was here. That was very shocking for me and I watched as my friends participated in fun activities that I had planned to go to but wasn't able to anymore. I felt like I was the kid at home without a date during the school dance all over again. Like time stopped within the walls of our little home while the rest of the world just kept living their wonderful easy lives. To add insult to injury, it was brutally cold and iced over a couple of times, making an already stir crazy mom even more crazy.

Also? People think you get really busy when you have a baby and don't tend to call. Non-mom people: call your new mom friends. They are overwhelmed and lonely and would probably LOVE to have you sit on the coach or vacuum their carpet while they struggled in said hour long nursing session. Of course there were days where visitors would have sent my stress levels over the moon, but sometimes it just makes it better to not be alone. 

I felt sort of trapped for many of these days. During those first 3 months especially, we were really trying to train her to sleep and give her a consistent schedule to get used to. That kept us home or out of several activities that I would have loved to have been a part of. 

Along with this came lots of guessing. It's incredibly humbling to say the least when you're constantly guessing and never knowing if the decision you're making is "right." Of course, everything during this first year was a guess. In sleeping, eating, facial expressions, noises, developments, etc etc. It just feels like you got thrown in the pool after only listening to lectures about swimming, but never actually trying it for yourself. 

I feel like my head somewhat lifted out of the fog about a month ago. I started waking up at normal times again and living an overall more balanced and healthy life. Breastfeeding got better, then my supply tanked during months 7-8, but with perseverance and a lot of prayer, it went back up again and seemed to turn a corner into easy-ville, finally. 

Our daughter interacts with us more and more each day! What a huge blessing and joy to be able to make her laugh on a whim, see her smile when we come in to get her after a nap, or when she sees something new for the first time. Her joyful spirit just invades any darkness I'm experiencing throughout my day, and I love that so much about our relationship. 

She's constantly on the go, crawling and moving around everywhere. She's not super into harmful things, so our house has been left mostly un-baby-proofed (real confessions) and she has done great. We've been able to use these new skills to start to teach her obedience and safety as well, which gets to the heart of parenting to me. It foreshadows days to come of shaping her conscience and guiding her heart towards the gospel.  

Though the sleep training was difficult, the pay off has been better than imagined. Reaghan does sleep well, and who knows if that is her personality or our efforts, or a mixture of both, but whatever the reason -- I'm thankful. She's able to skip a nap on occasion without completely falling apart. She eats on a routine which is a huge relief to me because I don't find myself guessing if she's hungry. There is a rhythm to our days which I deeply thrive on. This in contrast to the first 6 months when her wake time and sleep time seemed to constantly be changing based on her growing needs. 

She eats food! I realized when I became a mom that bringing a spoon to my baby's mouth while she opened up wide was something I always imagined doing. It brought me so much joy to watch her chomp down and make memorable faces with each new taste. Around 10 months she ditched the purèes and started wanting to feed herself. What a strange and fun new adventure. 

She's growing so much every day. Showing that she understands us, points to things and tries to say the word, waves at strangers. I feel like she just brings people joy everywhere she goes. That is more than my mama heart could ask for. 

Nourishing Baby Food

I've had some requests for recipes of some of the baby food I've made Rae. I can't believe it's taken me this long to share a couple on the blog, but I wanted to do it for any who might need some new ideas! 

We introduced Reaghan to solids at 6 months. Research has found that 6 months is a good age as it allows more time for their gut to seal. Gut sealing is important because it keeps food from getting into the blood stream, causing an allergic reaction. We also decided to start slow and with foods that were high in nutrition. Some of her first foods were: homemade bone broth, soft boiled egg yolk (the white is what causes allergies in babies, the yolk is full of nutrients!), coconut oil mixed with probiotics (CO has a lot of similar nutrients to breast milk). 

After that we followed the guidelines from the Weston A Price Foundation and got some help from the Wholesome Baby Food site as well. Both were super helpful in just listing out recipes as well as ages for each food to be introduced, when to buy organic, etc. 

Reaghan really needed something closer to the texture of milk at first, so we started with purées. At about 10 months she started wanting to pick up her own small chunks of food, so we're doing that now. Here are a couple of "recipes" I came up with that she really enjoyed! 


Blueberry Sage Purée

Ingredients:

1 cup frozen organic blueberries 
1 teaspoon rubbed or fresh sage

Cook about a cup of frozen blueberries in just a few tablespoons of water over medium heat. Allow to bubble and let simmer for 10-15 minutes. If sage is dried, just measure out with a teaspoon and add to the blueberries. If fresh, chop finely and add. Mix together then pour into a blender and blend until smooth. 

We stored all of our purées in ice cube trays then popped them out into plastic baggies when they were frozen. For traveling, we used these handy Infantino pouches. 

I think she liked it.....

Fall Medley Purée 

Ingredients: 

3 sweet potatoes
1 butternut squash
3 apples, any variety
2 tablespoons coconut oil 
pumpkin pie spice
cinnamon
ground ginger
pinch of sea salt*

*refined table salt is terrible for babies, but they can have a small amount of real sea salt. I am not a pediatrician or doctor, just made this judgement call based on my own personal research. I always encourage mama's to do your own research. 

Preheat oven to 425 f

Peel and chop sweet potatoes and butternut squash into small bite-size pieces. Core and slice apples and toss everything into a large bowl with a couple of tablespoons of coconut oil. Sprinkle evenly with spices and a pinch of sea salt and toss around with a wooden spoon to coat everything evenly. Spread out on a large baking sheet and bake for 20-25 minutes. 

I think for this one I ended up serving some of the veggies with our dinner that night since it made quite a lot! Of course, you could blend it all up and make a big batch of food for your baby. 

Allow to cool for a few minutes then blend in a blender along with a little filtered water. 

What have you fed your little ones? Did they like purées or jump straight to finger foods? What foods do your babies like best? I love learning and trying new things with Reaghan and would love to hear from YOU! 

Family Photos!

We had a fun shoot with my incredibly talented friend Casey. She has the most wonderful photography business and has recently become super passionate about photographing births. Her gorgeous photos make me want to give birth all over again!! They are so beautiful and move my heart so deeply when I see those images. 

She carries that same passion into all her shoots and that totally came through in our family photos! I could not love them more and kind of want to use all of them for our Christmas card. Is that possible? Well, I don't think so....so I'll settle for sharing them on the blog with you! 

For the record, Reaghan was super frustrated and screaming almost the entire time. I'd say it was a tad cold that morning, which she probably didn't appreciate. I was nervous there wouldn't be any pictures showing off her precious smile, but Casey managed to capture some! 

I love how these photos capture the joy in our family since welcoming Reaghan into our lives. The older she gets the more I realize I just love being around her, regardless of what she's going through or if she's cranky, I just want to hold her, make her laugh and enjoy her presence. 

There's really nothing like seeing my husband with my daughter. I love watching him with her on a daily basis, but seeing these moments captured warms my soul in a different way. I will always be able to have these memories captured to look back on when she's older!

Our little thumb-sucker. She doesn't suck her thumb crazy often but gosh, when she does, I completely melt. These next few have to be some of my favorites. 

Time reading as a family is a really sweet time for us. I will admit that I have struggled to read to Reaghan this year. It was just plain hard when she was too teeny to care that I was talking to her at all. Over the past couple of weeks she has really taken to books and will flip through them and babble like she's reading them! Her new-found interest in books has gotten me excited to read to her more and see her interacting with the characters and pictures on the pages.

xo

Let's Be Thankful

I had an unusual day of thankfulness despite my circumstances on Halloween night, and it was really refreshing. One tiny example of that was that we decided to sit on the front porch and pass out candy to the trick or treaters and hot apple cider to the parents as they made their rounds on a chilly night. I was super excited about it all week and anticipating all the precious/scary kiddos! 

Of course, all the kids on our block must have gone to their own private Halloween parties, because we got a whopping 3 groups of kids and only a couple of parents at our door. As we sat there drinking our apple cider, we processed together how we could feel like our attempt to serve and meet our neighbors was a huge flop. Surprisingly, we felt super thankful for the neighbors who came by and texted later saying they loved the cider. And we were just thankful to start a tradition in our own little family of getting outside on this holiday that usually brings all your neighbors to your front door. 

Photo by Hawkins Photography

Regardless, we've turned a corner after Halloween, and I caught myself thinking "on to Christmas!" When I woke up this morning I was hit with the realization that there is another holiday coming......Thanksgiving. Why skip it? Since getting married, I've been looking for ways to incorporate new traditions into our family. The unusual and uplifting bout of thankfulness from Halloween got me thinking -- let's share as a family what we are thankful for each day of the month leading up to Thanksgiving. We'll write them down in a special journal. Through the years as we repeat this tradition, we'll be able to look back on previous years and remember all God has done in each season of our lives. 

I know this isn't the most earth-shattering thing you've ever read, and I know for sure that we are not the first family to do it! BUT, this is definitely new to us and I think it will be a heart check on a daily basis throughout the month. It will help us to see where we are putting our hope and where we are slumping into the dark hole of complaining when we have an abundance all around us to be thankful for. 

I'm thinking this simple tradition will only get better throughout the years when Reaghan (and hopefully future babies) are old enough to participate themselves. 

Here's a perfect example of how I fell into the slump of ungratefulness this week: 

(Jordan and I were talking about our budget and some changes with it in the near future...)

Me: "But how are we going to have the money to afford fulfilling my dreams?"

Jordan: "The little girl on the Compassion Magazine cover wants to punch you in the face right now."

Point taken. 

My husband was lovingly pointing me to the reality that I have everything I need for life right in front of me, yet here is a little girl who just wants a rooster for her family so they can afford food. Ouch. My thankful eyes had temporarily gone blind and I wasn't able to see the reality of my life versus so many other lives around the world. And in the most selfish, I'm-a-5-year-old-again kind of way, I totally whined about "my dreams." 

What areas are you most tempted to be ungrateful for in your life? How are you going to use this month of Thanksgiving to spring board your own heart and family towards thankfulness? I'd love to hear and learn from each other!

Capsule Wardrobe // The Plan

I stored away all my pre-maternity clothes last summer in preparation to save space when we moved into our new house. A couple months after my daughter was born I started going through them. I was faced with bags full of clothes I had completely forgotten about and a closet that was equally as full. I was overwhelmed and dissatisfied with my collection and just wanted to throw everything away. I knew that wasn't possible but needed a plan.

I started thinking about how I could simplify my wardrobe and tailor it towards this new phase of life I'm in. I hope the next few years will be filled with pregnancies and young babies, and I knew my old clothes just weren't cut out for that. 

I've also done a lot of thinking about the "in between" stages of your body as a mom. I'm not about to go out and buy a new wardrobe for each of these stages, but I wanted to find a way to make my wardrobe versatile enough to last through them all. For example, there's the in between time when you kind of just look chubby rather than pregnant...none of your jeans fit and you just need a loose fitting t-shirt that still makes you feel cute because, let's face it, you feel like death. Maternity shirts don't quite suit you yet but maybe your old form fitting ones make you feel more bloated than you already are. 

Then there's the in between time after birth where you're still wearing maternity jeans (though you thought you'd be in regular jeans a month out...ha) and not quite sure where you stand with the rest of your closet. 

I know not every mom will go through the same stages because we all have different body types AND I know not every mom will have the same thought process as me, but as I searched online for some help with styling my body in this new lifestyle I wasn't finding what I was looking for. My hope in writing this is to give you a starting place if you are finding yourself in a similar situation. 

If you are pregnant or just gave birth, you are a strong woman, and should be confidant in what your body is capable of. There is so much beauty in you and it doesn't come from clothing. That beauty comes from the inner strength that has been given by God to grow and nourish another human life. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Whether we have gained more weight than we wanted to in pregnancy, are naturally petite, stuck somewhere in the middle, or dealing with something else entirely, it doesn't matter. We all deserve to feel beautiful internally and adorn ourselves externally in a way that reflects how we feel on the inside.  

Because I know these truths, by God's grace I really haven't struggled with body image very much since giving birth. I have chosen to accept the gift of bearing children with my body and am excited to continue to do that in the future if the Lord allows. As of now, I really have no plans to try to lose a ton of weight. Nor do I think I'm overweight. For me the number on the scale doesn't matter all that much. 

Being physically strong and feeding my body the right nutrients has been more important and what I choose to prioritize. I spend a lot of time making sure we eat healthy, and I go for walks pushing a stroller almost daily. If I want to give my body anything, it's not less pounds, it's strength, so I try to practice holy yoga when I can as well. Breastfeeding along with walking has brought me pretty close to my "pre-baby" weight, and I'm good with that. 

Okay, so somewhere along this journey I was introduced to the Un-Fancy blog. Her idea is to simplify your wardrobe by getting rid of all the fluff and only keeping a limited number of pieces.  None of us like the feeling of thinking "what am I going to wear?" while staring at a closet bursting at the seams with clothes. You can read more about the what and how of building a capsule wardrobe here. I used her free wardrobe planner, donated almost all of my clothes, and got to work. 

Lifestyle: 

*80% at home, 20% out with friends in casual settings, running errands, etc.

*A few special occasions (holidays, showers, weddings) not included in capsule. 

*Pregnant and/or nursing 

Colors:

*All new clothing will be neutrals (grey, black, cream, white), with pops of color from old clothes

Goals: 

*Stay within budget

*Simplify wardrobe to pieces that are only functional for nursing, comfortable, and could get me through the early pregnancy stage and early postpartum stage. 

*Put together but relaxed; cute but comfortable

My Go-To Pieces: 

*dark denim skinny jeans

*loose tops and tanks that are long (hit the end of the zipper on jeans)

*long sleeve loose knit cardigans

I started by purging my closet of everything that met this criteria: 

• didn't fit
• wasn't a piece that could last through the "in between" times of early pregnancy and early postpartum
• I didn't feel beautiful in it
• wasn't easy to nurse in
• had holes or other wear and tear 

For me this also meant no skirts, maxi dresses, etc. I love a good maxi dress but these two items aren't in my capsule wardrobe right now because I can only think of one or two times when I would wear them. Maybe a shower or a wedding where I'm without my baby, but these two things happen too infrequently for me to justify stocking my closet with any new dresses. I kept a few that I liked and would feel comfortable in and will save them for when Reaghan is weaned :) 

Since this is getting exuberantly long already, I'll save showing you my pieces for another post. 

How about you, was this helpful for any mom's out there going through the "in between" stages with their bodies? What other issues have you come across? I'd love to hear!

Perfect Afternoon Snack // Blueberry Citrus Smoothie

I've found that right around the 5 o'clock mark I'm in serious need of a snack. I've gone for the ol' chips and salsa, which in my opinion is a great pre-dinner-late-afternoon snack. On some rare but desperate occasions I've even made myself an egg burrito. (so basically two dinners?)

These are fine options but most days I don't want anything too heavy that it ruins dinner only an hour or two later. The good thing about a liquid snack is that it fills you up quick and gives you nutrients but (and maybe this is actually not so great) it doesn't fill you up for long. So when I blend up a smoothie I don't have to worry if I'll be hungry enough for dinner soon. :)

Enter the smootie. The trusted smoothie. It's gotten me through many "I'm starving and don't know what to do!!!" moments of pregnancy and motherhood. Oh who am I kidding, it's gotten me through more than that. 

This easy smoothie filled up half of my large mason jar. So.....let's call that 8 ounces?

What you'll need: 

1 cup frozen banana slices
1-1 1/2 cups unsweetened almond milk
a handful of spinach
1/2 cup frozen blueberries 
1 tablespoon orange juice (fresh squeezed)

Throw your sliced bananas into a blender, pour about a cup of almond milk (you can add more later to thin it out a bit if needed), blueberries, spinach and about a tablespoon of freshly squeezed orange juice. 

This is such a healthy and delicious snack, I just had to share. And come on, what could be easier than a smoothie? The blender practically cleans itself too once you're done. 

The bananas sweeten this smoothie up just enough for me, and I love the hint of orange too! I hope you enjoy!

what my 5 o'clock looks like. 

What does your afternoon snack look like?