The Truth About the First Year

Reaghan had so much fun at her birthday party! We're so thankful for those who were able to help us celebrate her little life. 

If you're looking for a healthy, grain free, nut free, dairy free, refined sugar and honey free cake, I used this one. Topped with my coconut whipped cream (sweetened with pure maple syrup instead of powdered sugar) and cooked mashed peaches. 

I can't believe my baby girl is one. It seems like yesterday that we were settling into a new house and welcoming Reaghan into our family. I want to share just a glimpse into this past year for me, as I have been reflecting on it quite a bit lately. 

Nursing. Did I mention nursing was a major struggle for me? I kind of cringe when I say that too because I have heard many more horrific stories than mine in this department. But it's not about comparing, amen? What was hard for me still was hard. You can read more about that here. 

She was super sleepy. Well dang, don't I sound like a big complainer?! But guys, this was hard for me because I really wanted that interaction, and it's just not there during the newborn stage. Not only this, but it was near impossible to feed her because she was too ASLEEP! Even rubbing ice all over her naked body wouldn't wake the kid up to eat. This put a pile of stress on my shoulders as a brand new mom, not knowing if she was getting enough milk. It also made 10 minute nursing sessions last an hour or more. 

I was lonely. I went from a busy life filled with lots of meaningful conversations to alone in a house with a screaming infant. In one day flat. Literally, I went to a Thanksgiving potluck with a bunch of international students the night I went into labor (no clue I was about to go into labor, by the way) then BAM, the next morning she was here. That was very shocking for me and I watched as my friends participated in fun activities that I had planned to go to but wasn't able to anymore. I felt like I was the kid at home without a date during the school dance all over again. Like time stopped within the walls of our little home while the rest of the world just kept living their wonderful easy lives. To add insult to injury, it was brutally cold and iced over a couple of times, making an already stir crazy mom even more crazy.

Also? People think you get really busy when you have a baby and don't tend to call. Non-mom people: call your new mom friends. They are overwhelmed and lonely and would probably LOVE to have you sit on the coach or vacuum their carpet while they struggled in said hour long nursing session. Of course there were days where visitors would have sent my stress levels over the moon, but sometimes it just makes it better to not be alone. 

I felt sort of trapped for many of these days. During those first 3 months especially, we were really trying to train her to sleep and give her a consistent schedule to get used to. That kept us home or out of several activities that I would have loved to have been a part of. 

Along with this came lots of guessing. It's incredibly humbling to say the least when you're constantly guessing and never knowing if the decision you're making is "right." Of course, everything during this first year was a guess. In sleeping, eating, facial expressions, noises, developments, etc etc. It just feels like you got thrown in the pool after only listening to lectures about swimming, but never actually trying it for yourself. 

I feel like my head somewhat lifted out of the fog about a month ago. I started waking up at normal times again and living an overall more balanced and healthy life. Breastfeeding got better, then my supply tanked during months 7-8, but with perseverance and a lot of prayer, it went back up again and seemed to turn a corner into easy-ville, finally. 

Our daughter interacts with us more and more each day! What a huge blessing and joy to be able to make her laugh on a whim, see her smile when we come in to get her after a nap, or when she sees something new for the first time. Her joyful spirit just invades any darkness I'm experiencing throughout my day, and I love that so much about our relationship. 

She's constantly on the go, crawling and moving around everywhere. She's not super into harmful things, so our house has been left mostly un-baby-proofed (real confessions) and she has done great. We've been able to use these new skills to start to teach her obedience and safety as well, which gets to the heart of parenting to me. It foreshadows days to come of shaping her conscience and guiding her heart towards the gospel.  

Though the sleep training was difficult, the pay off has been better than imagined. Reaghan does sleep well, and who knows if that is her personality or our efforts, or a mixture of both, but whatever the reason -- I'm thankful. She's able to skip a nap on occasion without completely falling apart. She eats on a routine which is a huge relief to me because I don't find myself guessing if she's hungry. There is a rhythm to our days which I deeply thrive on. This in contrast to the first 6 months when her wake time and sleep time seemed to constantly be changing based on her growing needs. 

She eats food! I realized when I became a mom that bringing a spoon to my baby's mouth while she opened up wide was something I always imagined doing. It brought me so much joy to watch her chomp down and make memorable faces with each new taste. Around 10 months she ditched the purèes and started wanting to feed herself. What a strange and fun new adventure. 

She's growing so much every day. Showing that she understands us, points to things and tries to say the word, waves at strangers. I feel like she just brings people joy everywhere she goes. That is more than my mama heart could ask for. 

Strawberry Apple Galette

I'm sure I will say this a half a dozen times this season but I LOVE this season. Cool breezes, hot apple cider, fires going in the fireplace, cozy blankets, and all the love and celebrations that go along with the magic of fall and winter. 

This past weekend my husband and I celebrated two years of marriage! Two years ago we chose to have a rehearsal luncheon because my dad's 80th birthday was the day before our wedding. That night we threw an incredibly sweet and fun surprise birthday party for him. It was the night before our wedding, and we were celebrating so many things that weekend. It brought us joy to be able to invite others into "our day" and good for our souls to not make the weekend all about ourselves. 

My dad loves pies, and has been begging me for a blueberry pie for a while. Well, I didn't have blueberries in the house this week (sorry dad!) but did have apples and strawberries. I decided to whip something together with those fruits + the rolled pie crust I had in the freezer for his celebration dinner. The result was divine. 

Ingredients:

1 rolled pie crust (found in refrigerated section at grocery)

3-4 apples (honey crisp, gala, fuji, or similar)

1 cup strawberries

2 tablespoons light brown sugar

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1/2 teaspoon fresh lemon juice 

1/4 teaspoon ground ginger

pinch of salt

Coconut Whipped Cream recipe found here. 

Preheat oven to 400 f

Start by allowing your pie crust to thaw to room temperature. Core and slice apples evenly. Hull and quarter strawberries and add both fruits to a medium size bowl. 

Mix in the remaining ingredients and stir to coat fruit evenly. Allow to sit in the refrigerator for at least an hour for flavors to meld together. 

Unroll pie crust over a round 9 x 11 pie dish. Slowly pour fruit mixture into the middle of the crust and fold edges around evenly, pinching with fingers to secure the crust together. 

Bake at 400 degrees for 20 minutes, then lower the heat to 350 and cook for an additional 15 minutes, checking to make sure crust is golden brown. 

Allow to cool for a few minutes then slice and serve with a dollop of coconut whipped cream! 

The Gift of Life

I turn 22 today... and what an amazing year it has been... full of blessings that could not have been possible without God's grace covering me. I want to share what God has done in my life this past year and take time to give thanks to Him who does more than we can ever ask for or imagine.

• I saw God's faithfulness to prayer answered when He brought two of my sorority sisters to Campus Crusade for Christ Winter Conference. Seeing their lives challenged by the Gospel of Jesus Christ was truly a precious gift I will always remember. Stemming from long journal entries of prayer and "deep nights of the soul" came two beautiful women whom I had the pleasure of investing in spiritually my senior year of college. That was the biggest gift I could receive.
  
• My senior year of college -- I mean really, the most fun and rewarding year ever. I was accepted to a wonderful internship at the Juvenile Detention Center, made good relationships there, saw teens lives change for the better and graduate from the program (please pray for them and their recoveries/family lives).
• I celebrated my second year of knowing Christ! Oh, I am still such a baby believer, learning every day, fighting for my joy, struggling to keep my head above water. He has given me the foundation for which I stand, the only reason I have hope and assurance in something other than myself. What a joy it brings to find rest in the One who created ALL things, and the One who will one day make all things new. He will make all things new. "I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; He heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned His ear to me, I will call on Him as long as I live." Pslam 116:1-2 I will never forget the night He called me to His word, showed me the book of Romans, and led me toward redemption. My life is a far cry from what it was 2 years ago. I am a new person in Him! Praise God for saving me from a life that lacked fulfillment and brought great pain.
  
• I was accepted into grad school, only to turn it down after a victorious week in Panama City Beach with Crusade, God revealed His purpose for my life after college. To pursue the Lord in a different career path. The struggle to communicate my passion for Christ and college students to my family and why I want to leave my life at the feet of God has been a hard one, but rewarding as I see all that has been done on my campus already. My hope is that it will always be the goal that if just one woman, one lost child of God, found redemption and saw her worth in Christ, all the struggle is worth while. Oh, how I want to see young women see themselves the way Jesus does! As a treasure! You are a treasure and should be pursued and treated as such. How sweet is the love of our Creator who brings redemption and forgiveness to lost and hurting souls, beautiful, we were bought at a price.
  
• I graduated from college!!!! Wooo!!! I now have a real cool degree hanging on my wall. Makes me feel like I've accomplished something big. I am the first of my dad's kids to graduate from college! I love that God gave me a family who has provided for me well, one that valued my education and gave me the resources, money and time to gain this education. The University of North Texas is probably one of the greatest places on Earth.
  
• I got my dream job!! Wow... this really has been a blessed year. I've had to make a lot of hard decisions (growing up I guess) but in the process landed the best job ever. I get to spend every day with college women, my favorite! I get to challenge and lead others to achieve more than they originally thought possible, I get to guide and support some seriously talented and intelligent women. I have gained a huge reward already, simply getting to peek into the lives of some of the most passionate servant leaders I have ever come across. It's refreshing to see that spark during Initiation, the passion for change and to cultivate leadership in a new exec member, and to be a channel for hundreds of women understanding the power and beauty that our Fraternity has all over the country. I love getting the chance to represent the international organization, being the link between all these diverse chapters. Not to mention, I see all of God's creations! He has blessed me FAR beyond what I could ever imagine or deserve. I deserve none of these things and yet He, somehow, in His unfathomable grace found me worthy of His love, His mercy. His blood covering me and all my sick sins. What a good, righteous, just, loving and all knowing God we have. Why He is not worshiped by every man on Earth is beyond me.
  

I write all these things to share the precious gift of life. It can be gone in a moment, and has been for so many way sooner than anyone could expect. The fact of life is that it's a blip, a momentary occurrence in the span of eternity. What we have here on Earth is a far cry from the glorious riches of Heaven, which I can't wait to experience one day. Each day is a gift, a true gift, we are not promised it will be easy, or that we will even wake up in the morning. But God's GRACE and SACRIFICE that He made on the Cross has paid the price for me (and you). His death on the Cross paid the entire penalty of my wretched sin. And not just mine, but all the sins of the world! What Good News is that!? It's great news... Romans 5:6-8 says "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." This is worth singing praises over. Worth a thousand tears. God, help me to truly believe that you are enough for me, regardless of blessings, sufferings, pain or joy -- help me to know that the only thing that matters is you.